


Laughed for Twenty Minutes

by marizousbooty



Series: Twenty Minutes [5]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Multi, broganes, christmas in november fic, please thoroughly look at the dimensions and reviews for a product before purchasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2019-02-05 00:05:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12782556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marizousbooty/pseuds/marizousbooty
Summary: Keith needs to come up with the perfect gift for Lance and Shiro isn't really that much help.





	Laughed for Twenty Minutes

**Author's Note:**

> I saw a post on tumblr then cried for twenty minutes now I made it into the next part as a fic. Thanks again to Alli for reading this i Know you're in the Christmas mood I hope this quenches your Christmas thirst at least a little.

“Good morning, sunshine. I know you hate me and everyone else in the world right now, but you have work in an hour.” Shiro’s voice cut through the thick fog of sleep that blanketed over Keith before Shiro tore off the actual blanket that covered him. Keith struggled and kept a firm grip at least on the top sheet. Shiro tugged ceaselessly on the blanket as he continued to try and talk Keith out of bed.

“I’ll open the curtains. Don’t test me. I’ll open those curtains right now if you don’t get out of bed,” Shiro warned. He stopped tugging the sheets and stepped towards the window. The dangerously bright streak of sunshine that slipped through the center split where the curtains didn’t quite touch was like a warning.

Keith groaned, begged him not to do it. Just ten more minutes.

“I don’t speak sleep talk, buddy. You need to get up and take a shower. I’m pretty sure you haven’t bathed in over a week.”

Another groan.

“Alright, I warned you.” That was Shiro’s last warning before he yanked open the curtains to let in the blinding, mid morning light.

Keith hissed and attempted to roll over, but his grip had slackened and Shiro was able to rip the sheet off and roll him out of the bed in one solid swoop.

“Go take a shower. I’m making coffee and eggs,” Shiro said simply as he gathered the blankets and headed toward the door.

“How are you awake? The last of finals was yesterday and you’re taking more classes than me.” Keith groaned from the floor.

Shiro froze at the doorway, turned, looked Keith directly in the eye and said. “I forced myself out of bed with sheer willpower and chugged a whole Rockstar and a Five-Hour Energy. I’ve already accepted death. My will is under the bed.” He turned and left.

Keith spent another ten minutes on the ground in an attempt to come up with the will to stand on his own.

The four exams, five papers (one of which ended up being a solid thirteen pages with academic sources, thank you Corey), and two presentations in the span of three days can really knock a guy out. He managed to roll himself into the shower and under the hot spray at some point.

It was during that shower while thinking the usual shower thoughts when a certain train of thought decided to run him over at top speed. Keith felt his hands freeze while lathering soap in his hair, his eyes widen before he opened his mouth and shouted: “CHRISTMAS IS COMING AND I DON’T HAVE A GIFT FOR MY BOYFRIEND!”

Seconds later, Shiro pounded on the bathroom door and shouted through the wood. “Please don’t yell. This is a tiny apartment and Christmas is still two weeks away.”

Keith quickly rinsed the soap from his hair and tumbled out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist. “Yes, but Lance is taking a trip to Florida to spend Christmas with a bunch of family over there next week so technically I only have a week to buy the most perfect present ever for him.”

“I don’t think it has to be a top notch million dollar gift,” Shiro frowned. “I think whatever you get him he’ll love because it’s from you. And please put some clothes on, I’m cold looking at you.”

“Oh hush up it’s only like fifty outside.”

“Cold,” he grumbled and went back to the kitchen.

Keith dried himself off and shoved on some jeans, a t-shirt, and a pair of socks with little green aliens provided by his boyfriend for his birthday. The source of Keith’s panic was that Lance had gotten Keith a whole gift box of over the top gifts for Keith’s birthday the month before last, and Keith had loved every single item in the box. From the complete DVD box set of the X-Files to the little green alien socks, the whole thing easily cost Lance a few hundred dollars. They technically didn’t start dating until almost a week after his birthday, but a few days into their budding relationship Keith had let slip that they had just missed his birthday. A few days later, Lance showed up at his and Shiro’s apartment with a large gift bag, a four-pack of market brand cupcakes, and wore one of those stupid party hats.

“It’s because I love my boyfriend and he deserves the world,” is what Lance had said.

Keith had been stressing out since then over what to get Lance. He needed to top that damn X-Files DVD box set, but that was _hard_. Lance’s only real expensive addiction was socks and Sephora. Easy, he could ask Allura what Lance would like from Sephora. And the socks Keith could go on Amazon and find something silly, it doesn’t matter Lance would wear them regardlessly. The more senseless the better, is what Lance would say. But that’s barely the first hundred.

“Shiro, what do you think I should get Lance for Christmas? He got me such an awesome birthday gift and I need to top that,” Keith said as he wandered into the kitchen to made himself a cup of coffee.

Shiro took a second to gulp down the remainder of his coffee before he answered. “I know he likes socks. Like, he was wearing those socks with taxi cabs all over them last week. Yesterday they were floral and said, ‘not my problem’. I want to know where he gets them, they’re glorious.”

“I think there’s a website. The fun patterned ones are from a monthly sock subscription,” Keith said. He stirred some creamer and sugar (it was a lot) into his coffee, stared down at the light beige brown it had turned as though it would tell him what he needs to know.

“Well, I’m gonna go to Costco after this to pick up groceries and toilet paper. I had a panic attack when I went to poop earlier and saw how low the roll was. Thankfully, it was a clean poop.” Shiro dumped his mug in the sink already overflowing with dishes and headed towards the door.

“COSTCO,” Keith shouted.

“Yes, Costco. I have a membership. They have a lot of toilet paper there.”

“No, Costco. Lance has always told us he wants one of those giant teddy bears that they sell there. How much are they, I’ll get him one?” Keith was practically jumping at the idea.

“I dunno, a lot. I can check. You better get ready for work I’ll see you in the afternoon.” With a wave goodbye, Shiro was out the door with an armful of shopping bags.

Later that afternoon, Keith came through the front door after his shift at work a little worse for wear.

“Hey, Keith?” Shiro was already in the living room sprawled across the loveseat, a bag of Sunchips in his lap. His dusty sweatpants and fingers proved he’s been there a while.

“Hey, how was Costco? Did you get the bear?” Keith dropped his keys in the bowl by the door and kicked off his boots before proceeding into the apartment.

“No. The teddy bear you want to get Lance is $280 and I love you, buddy, you know I do, but I’m not letting a seven foot teddy bear hurt my credit,” Shiro huffed.

“That’s fine, I can go get it. Scoot over.” Keith nudged Shiro with his foot to roll over and let him sit. He settled into the couch squished against Shiro.

“Sold out.”

Keith jerked back and stared wide-eyed at Shiro. “ _What_?”

“Out of stock until the twentieth. Popular gift this year.”

“Shit, Lance leaves the eighteenth. How are they sold out of $280 teddy bears?!”

Shiro shrugged. “If I wasn’t poor I would get one for myself, too. Sell my bed and sleep on that.”

“What am I gonna do now?” Keith physically felt his his lungs shriveling up inside his chest. “He literally deserves the best.”

“Keith,” Shiro turned down the volume to the TV then turned to face him. “Look, I have no idea where Lance got the money for those gifts, it was very sweet of him, but don’t go thinking you need to try and top him. You could literally buy him Tupperware and he would love it because it’s from you. Don’t think about the money in it, think about what you think he would like.”

“I know, I know. I just want to spoil him for once, you know? He always buys me food or anything I show an interest towards. Like, he works at a preschool, where does he get all this money?” Keith frowned.

“Camboy? Maybe he’s a stripper. Oh! Or maybe he draws furry porn on the side,” Shiro snickered.

“Why would Lance do any of that? He’s kinda shy about any of. . .” Keith hesitated for a second, a little reluctant to share any of their bedroom matters to Shiro. “That kind of stuff. And furry porn?” He arched an eyebrow expectantly.

“I found out last week Matt draws furry porn on the side to make extra dough. People are willing to pay a lot of money for kinky anthropomorphic pornography,” Shiro shrugged. “He bought me dinner at the Cheesecake Factory with furry porn money.”

Keith groaned and threw his head back against the couch. “God, I hope not.”

It was much later that evening Keith sat on the floor in front of the loveseat with his laptop on his lap. He’s been sitting here for a good hour with at least four different websites open and carts loaded up with stuff he would consider gifts but will go back and clean through later. At the moment, he had turned to Amazon for the giant teddy bear.

“Pst, wake up,” Keith said sharply and gave Shiro’s side a firm poke. Shiro jerked awake with a snort, one side of his hair stuck straight up and had a line of dried drool on his chin.

“Whassup?” He mumbled.

“Look at this bear. It’s 76 inches when the Costco one is 93 inches. Do you think Lance will notice the almost two feet height difference? Plus it’s only $109.” Keith shifted the laptop so Shiro could get a look.

“Only $109. Yeah, sure. It’s your money, so whatever. Get the tan one, the white would stain too easily.” And with that, Shiro gracelessly rose to his feet, then stumbled down the hall into their shared bedroom.

Keith added the bear to the cart and bought it immediately.

Over the course of the week, all of Lance’s gifts arrived. Of course, he had bought little somethings for the rest of his friend group and Shiro, but Lance’s was probably the most important in his book. On Tuesday afternoon when Keith got home from work, he got stopped by the landlord saying that he got a pretty big package for him to pick up in the office.

After the large but incredibly light box had been pushed through the apartment door, Keith went straight for the kitchen to get a knife to cut it open.

“Shiro, come here and look,” Keith yelled as he stabbed the tab of the box.

“Please be careful. Don’t maim our large friend,” said Shiro as he got up from the loveseat and came over to where Keith stood in the entryway with the box.

“That would suck, but it’s early enough. I could probably get a refund and order a new one.”

“Would they even take it if the box is stabbed open and the bear just happened to be torn where the box was stabbed?” Shiro mused.

“Only one way to find out.”

With a quick slide of the knife through the flaps of the box, Keith pried open the top and removed the layer of the packaging bubbles to reveal the very large, smiling face and torso of the $109 bear.

“Man he’s cute.” Shiro reached in and stroked the chest. “And soft, holy shit.”

“Can we even take it out?” Keith frowned. “He’s kind of packed in there and I don’t think I’ll be able to put it back in.”

“Then don’t. Close it up and wrap it in the cool silver and blue wrapping paper we have.”

“Shouldn’t we check to make sure it’s not defected or damaged?”

Shiro shrugged. “Probably. But like you said, we probably won’t be able to put it back in the box. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? A really bad manufacturer error that left the bear legless?”

“Lance would probably love it even more for being legless,” Keith said and closed the box.

That following Saturday, the group decided to get together before Lance left for his trip on Monday and Hunk left for New York on Wednesday. They all got together at the Holt’s house, where Sam turned on the fire and Colleen had lit candles and brought them Christmas cookies and eggnog to snack on. Pidge had requested everyone to wear sweaters for the sake of the holiday season.

“Pidge, it’s like 70 outside. That does not warrant a sweater,” Lance frowned.

“It’s the thought that counts. This is a fucking cardigan.” Pidge pinched the end of Lance’s oversized, beige knit cardigan with a sneer. “Allura and Shay got the right idea. I’ll give Matt and Hunk points for trying but the zipper and buttons don’t count. Shiro, that’s a very good try, at least it’s a pullover. Keith? This is bad. You’re not even wearing a sweater so you get one less cookie than everyone else.”

Keith shrugged and grabbed another cookie.

“I dunno, I think he should get some points.” Lance sat down and curled up next to Keith on the couch. “The leather looks nice, babe.”

“Thanks, babe.” Keith gave Lance a soft peck on the cheek to hide his blush.

“Ya nasty. Don’t do anything over T-rated on my couch.” Pidge squeezed into the couch between Lance and Allura and snuggled into his side.

“I think,” Hunk declared with a booming clap of his hands, “that we should open gifts. Shay and I have to leave soon, and I think Allura has work in the morning, so let’s get this show on the road.”

“I bet that really big gift in the back is for me,” Lance said loudly. He pointed towards the gift Keith and Shiro had lugged earlier with a comically smaller box on top attached by a large, sparkly silver ribbon that encased the whole thing.

Hunk checked the tag. “It actually is. Guess who it’s from.”

“You, my sweet. You shouldn’t have, bro.” Lance put his hand over his heart and gave Hunk a love stricken look.

“It’s actually from Keith,” Shay giggled. It took Hunk and Shay together to carry the gift over to where Lance sat on the couch.

“Holy shit, Keith,” Pidge laughed.

“I feel like there’s some favoritism here,” Allura smirked and held up her own gift, which was a small, blue gift bag. Everyone else had small gift bags from Keith.

“Sorry,” Keith winced.

“Don’t be, babe.” Lance leaned over and kissed Keith’s cheek, then whispered for only Keith to hear. “I dunno what this is, but thank you. I know I’ll love it.”

“Aren’t smaller gifts better when it comes to Christmas, though?” Pidge asked.

“That applies to fancy jewelry and wads of cash in comparison to large children’s toys,” said Matt.

Hunk and Matt finished up passing out gifts then settled into their spots. All eyes were on Lance.

“I don’t know what that is but God do I wanna know. Please go first, Lance,” said Allura.

“Hell yeah,” Lance said, then proceeded to gently take off the ribbon and tear into the first package. He pulled out a couple layers of tissue paper and unwrapped the first gift, which made Lance gasp. “These shark socks look like they’re eating my feet!” He laughed. “Ooh my gosh, Keith, they’re awesome! Thank you!”

“Keep going, this one’s technically from both of us.” Allura wiggled her eyebrows.

As she said that, Lance tugged out a metallic silver and hot pink box. He made a shrill sound when he saw the label, eyes wider comically.

“Oh, you did _not_ just spend $70 on the Glamglow limited edition holiday set, you total asshole!” Lance’s voice had gotten incredibly high. He yanked Keith into a firm kiss, a giggle on his lips. Pidge and Allura made a loud, gagging sound.

“Open the next one, I really hope you like it,” Keith said softly.

Lance gave Keith another peck then stood up so he could reach the the top. “Hey Pidge, come help me out.”

Pidge sprang up and started to unwrap the silver and blue wrapping paper from the large box. With the two tearing at it almost frantically the Amazon smile was quickly revealed and then buried again with them tearing open the lid and ripping out the tissue paper like animals. The squeal of surprise indicated they reached the gift.

“Keith _no_ ,” Pidge howled with laughter. Lance’s squeal had turned into a drawn out, high pitched noise of delight as he reached into the box and tugged out the overlarge bear.

“I can’t believe you, oh my God!” Lance practically shrieked. His eyes were crinkled due to the broad smile draped across his face. He giggled hard into his hand, in an attempt to hide how big his smile was maybe but that didn’t slip by Keith. He reached into the box and bodily jerked out the overlarge bear, eliciting loud shouts of varying levels of shock and amazement.

“You did _not_ buy him a Costco teddy bear and us these shitty gift bags, you absolute _whore_ ,” Matt shouted over the chaos.

“Hey, I put a lot of thought and love into your shitty gift bags. Besides, Costco was sold out so went to Amazon so it’s not as big. Sorry, Lance,” said Keith.

“I don’t care at all. It’s from you, so I love it.”

Lance was still trying to tug the bear from the box, the cardboard caught around the waist. Hunk came over and held the box down so Lance could take it out easier. Once freed from its cardboard confines, Lance let out a satisfied giggle but was quickly turned into a loud gasp, then full-out laughter. The body of the bear was out, but it’s legs kept going. No matter how much bear Lance pulled out the legs seemed to get longer and longer until at least over half the body length was its long legs. The feet finally plopped onto the floor and Lance held up the six foot six inch, 60% leg monstrosity. Lance’s laugher was reduced to silent heaving, his eyes wet with unshed tears. If the room was chaos before, at this point it was absolute madness.

“Keith holy shit!”

“The legs, man!”

“Why didn’t we check the box.”

“Nice legs daisy dukes makes a man go AAAHHAHAHA”

“I’m going to poop myself, oh Jesus shit.”

“ _The legs!”_

“That’s a long boy.”

Everyone was yelling and clamored over each other to try and touch the bear and its really long legs.

Keith buried his face into his hands and groaned loudly. “No, no! We should have checked it, Shiro. God it should have been legless.”

“No, oh my God, Keith. Look.” Shiro was snickering and held out his phone to show Keith their shared Amazon orders with the bear he ordered on screen. Shiro swiped over the images to show the full size of it lengthwise in the arms of a smiling girl, it’s legs as incredibly long in the photo as it was in real life. “They’re supposed to be long.”

“Why would someone make that? Oh God, Lance, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize how bad it was I’ll take it back and-” Keith was absolutely mortified that his gift, the one he was most excited to give his boyfriend, was a disaster. They were all laughing at it! Lance was the worst of the group, he was still silently wheezing.

“Keith, shut the fuck up, I love it. I’ll kill everyone in this room including myself if something happened to this long boy don’t you _dare_ try and take this joy away from me.” Lance leaned down and gave Keith a gentle peck on the cheek. “I really love it. Don’t worry okay? This could have been legless and I would have still loved it because it’s from you.”

His mouth felt dry and face overheated. “I- really?”

Lance smiled softly. “Really.”

“I know I said I wanted to sell my bed and sleep on that,” said Shiro. “But I change my mind. What if I fall between the legs in the middle of the night? That would be awful and bad.”

It took them all a good twenty minutes to stop laughing at the too long legged bear before they were able to move onto the next gifts. At one point during their laughfest Colleen came in to personally tell them to shut it before she kicked them all to the curb.

 

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.amazon.com/Joyfay-Giant-Teddy-Bear-White/dp/B00580KX2W/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?s=toys-and-games&ie=UTF8&qid=1511234640&sr=1-1-spons&keywords=joyfay+giant+teddy+bear&psc=1&smid=A20QEF2LEKCK8G  
> lmao heres the bear
> 
> main tumblr: canadiangothstalker  
> art tumblr: mirai-eats  
> twitter: mirai_eats


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